Well, I did it. I finished another semester of college. I wish it was my last. It could have been my last, but I knew my limitations. Thankfully I listened to them because there was no way in this world I could have taken three courses with everything that goes on at my house during the Spring. Then with everything that came up, like my health and Brian’s additional coaching responsibilities, it is safe to say NO ONE would have been standing at the end of the semester if I had not cut back to one class. It was the perfect amount of work. School did not consume me like it has in the past and I really loved the class and my professor. However, today as I walked out of my class for the final time I felt a sting of regret that I had not been able to pull off taking my other two required courses. Regret might not be the right word because regret suggests I would go back and change things if I could, but truthfully, I wouldn’t change it and in most cases I can’t change anything about it. I love my two little boys who have made the last year of college turn into 4 semesters. I would not trade them for anything in the world. Even if that meant I could never finish college. I also love my older children who have to be picked up from school and who play way too many sports for the time they have! I am also extremely thankful for my mother-in-law who watches my two littles so I can go to class and for my mom who picks up my son from school and who can fill in as a driver for other activities when necessary. I wish I could do this all on my own. I hate having to rely on other people to take care of my responsibilities.
When I went back to school my goal was that my education never interfered with the desires and needs of my children. I am a mom first, always. Sadly, over the years I have had to miss things due to work and studying. I have also shown my stress to them far too often. In fact before the babies were born, stress was just a way of life during the school year. I always had too much work to do and not enough time to do it. Hopefully my children will appreciate this as they get older and realize how much was at stake in all of this craziness.
I am looking forward to this summer where I can put all things school aside and focus on my family. In the fall I will finish my courses. Sadly, I will have to attend classes four days a week to do so. The two remaining courses I have to take have always been offered back to back two days a week, but OF COURSE they aren’t this year. Four days a week wouldn’t be so bad if school was right down the road and if the times were late morning/early afternoon. Instead, school is a 50 minute drive, plus I have to add additional time to park and walk to and from class. There is NO close parking, whatsoever. I have vented about this before so I will spare you another episode now, but I will say I did sign a petition for added close parking for students so this proves I am not the only one who feels this way! All in all I will need to block out four hours of time four days a week in the afternoons/evenings (the busiest time of day for my family) just to attend class, but we are doing it. We have to do it. Every one is on board with this decision. I am finishing this fall. Stay tuned….