Pity Party for One

Yesterday, by 5:20 PM I was not feeling the greatest.  I woke up at 6AM.  I took 2 of my kids to school then headed to preschool to work on my classroom.  Getting a classroom ready proves to be a never ending task year after year.  I think we’re near completion and “poof” another epic idea enters one of our minds and there is no escaping the execution of such greatness. Sadly, I did not have much time to work because I had to get to school. I was left with no choice but to leave the room in shambles. 
I headed straight to a conference I scheduled with my professor for Human Development & Learning (Teacher Psychology).  He is a bit quirky and wants us to essentially write our own individual curriculum for taking his class.  I get his point.  I see the value in this, but at the same time I DON’T HAVE TIME to meet with a Professor on a bi-weekly or even monthly basis.  My time IS NOT flexible.  Unless he can meet me at 11PM this whole things FREAKS me out.  After the meeting though, I basically, determined I will write papers, which I love, and also blow his mind with a few creative projects.  This is completely doable.  Although, the meeting  in and of itself was discouraging as he told me I should not overextend myself and perhaps taking one class at a time would be in my best interest.  TOO LATE!  I’ve made up my mind.  This is happening.  He doesn’t know me yet! 
After the meeting he and I headed to class. Class was uneventful.  We watched a movie.  Really?  I pay money to watch a movie in class?  To be fair, I would not have the time to do this if I were at home so I took a moment to relax.  After this class I headed to math.  I was already discouraged from Professor Quirky’s input. Then to top it off, I HAD TO GO TO MATH.  I hate math.  I took 4 pages of notes.  I had a headache and the person in front of me reeked of cigarettes.  I was counting down the minutes to the end of my misery. Although, I don’t know why I was so eager because immediately following dismissal I was slated to endure another kind of misery: carline. After class, I drove like a crazy person to my children’s school in order to secure a prime spot in a line I am destined to sit in for 45 minutes regardless of position.
While in line, my head was pounding.  I needed Starbucks, but I had no time to drive through . I then shifted my focus to holding out for some type of  miracle which would allow me to prepare dinner while I waited in the car.  I quickly accepted divine intervention was not going to occur so instead I began the task of cutting out my laminating for preschool.  I did not accomplish much because every minute or so I felt the need to vent my frustration with a heavy sigh. This expenditure of air lead to me putting the scissors down (probably a good idea), while my blood pressure also simultaneously began to rise.  My head was pulsating.  I wondered how in the world I was going to pull off another class later this evening. I just wanted to scream!
Finally, a temporary moment of glee washed over me when I hit the lottery and pulled up to the pick-up lane.  I did my best to greet my kids and not subject them to the stress of my day. I failed miserably.  When I got home, I continued to fail. We walked in the door at 4:35.  I had to make dinner, (I was starving too so this did not help) eat it, & clean it up (because well, that’s how I am) and leave the house by 5:20.  Somehow, I pulled this off (well somewhat).  My blood sugar returned to normal & apologies for previous outbursts were made. 🙂
I was still feeling the time crunch as Brenden and I left for football late and then my gas light came on.  As we were pulling out of our neighborhood the song “Light up the Sky” by The After’s came on.  If you know me personally, chances are you already know what this means to me.  If not, I invite you to look up the lyrics. http://www.songlyrics.com/the-afters/light-up-the-sky-lyrics/
My attitude immediately changed as I turned up the radio and these words reminded me:
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Your love is rushing in
You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show
That YOU are with me
This journey I have chosen to take on is not easy.  I know I will not be successful unless I rely on God’s strength to help me walk the path He has set before me.  I KNOW THIS, yet I FORGET to apply it.  I am thankful for God’s subtle reminders and I am also thankful HE allowed time for me to hit the Starbucks drive thru before my evening class.

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